Thread: Random RPG Thoughts (No Videogames Allowed!)

  1. #5746
    Redwick, re-imagined RedWick's Avatar
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    Uh...those are kidney stones...
    Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast. - Douglas Adams

 

  • #5747
    Feanor's Avatar
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    My god...the seriousness with which you people take things is stupid.
    My Other Sword Is Vorpal

  • #5748
    Redwick, re-imagined RedWick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Feanor View Post
    My god...the seriousness with which you people take things is stupid.
    Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast. - Douglas Adams

  • #5749
    Pony Up! Ovinomancer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Feanor View Post
    My god...the seriousness with which you people take things is stupid.
    For real. It's not like this is about haiku, SC BBQ, or posting in old random thoughts threads. People really need a better sense of what's important.
    Quote Originally Posted by PWD View Post
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    I think ovi's right.

  • #5750
    Quote Originally Posted by Ovinomancer View Post
    It's not like this is about haiku
    I must spread some around... help a brother out?
    Still excited about 4th Edition!
    -----
    * 'You'd need to start with a party of 20 or 30, so that each of the grisly traps could fail to be avoided.' -- Calamari Face, discussing a D&D movie set in the Tomb of Horrors

  • #5751
    holiday cheers! Tarion'sCousin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Feanor View Post
    I'd like to see you do it!
    You want to watch him pee?
    "d00d,
    most people are idiots"
    --diaglo

  • #5752
    Friendly Coffee Kzach's Avatar
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    So I wake up, groggy as usual but a type of weary that I know will mean napping during the day. 10am, one of my D&D groups gets a post on our private FB page, "Are we playing tonight?"

    Shit. I thought we weren't. I thought we'd discussed this a fortnight ago and we weren't playing!

    Oh well, turns out everyone wants to play. I have nothing prepared, no fucking clue what I'm going to do. I think, "Hey, I'm usually pretty good at impromptu, I can do this."

    The PC's had just gotten to Candlekeep last session on the trail of a murderer. Long story short, they closed a portal to Limbo which was bleeding out into the Material Plane and causing random havoc and timey-wimey shit. Closing the portal reset everything and now they're in an alternate timeline. They were meant to go through the damn portal but closed it instead.

    Anyway, that was last session. Now they're in Candlekeep, the plot they were supposed to follow unavailable, and I've gotta come up with something on the spot.

    Months and many sessions ago, they met a crazy person. They met them again a couple of times, wandering around the village. I'd laid some clues that he might be the king's son, and that some sort of weirdness has gone down where the king doesn't even think he has a son. This was just some random shit I like to throw in every so often to see if the players will latch onto it, make up something, and I can turn it into something. They didn't. Oh well.

    But now I figure I'll have this guy, non-crazy, at Candlekeep, trying to figure out what was happening to him and why. He's hearing bells and sometimes menacing laughter. The players are all like, "OK, timey-wimey shit, this really is the king's son, he's not crazy yet, let's save him!"

    So after a bunch of roleplaying and walking around with pants off and almost getting arrested by grumpy old librarian who kept saying, "Our rules are very strict!" (points if you recall where that's from), and took away their weapons and spell casting focuses as a condition of being in the library ('cause when they first entered, all the weird Limbo shit was happening and there weren't any guards, and now it's back to normal, they got caught roaming the halls with weapons and with their pants off).

    The king's son has been marked with an arcane beacon that is attracting a fiendish spirit that will consume his soul. The players actually manage to figure this out. Things start getting worse around the son, the PC's start hearing the bells (I used a bunch of d6's in my cupped hands to a slow tempo beat of the well known bells from Santa's sleigh every so often), and then they start hearing the menacing laughter (I did a growly and sinister version of "ho, ho, ho").

    And as the sun sets, sinister elfin laughter is heard and shadows of small creatures appear in the candlelight of Candlekeep's Esoteric Studies Department. Screams are heard. First it's a mutilated rabbit corpse. Then it's someone being doused with blood, and then it's someone slipping in entrails. The elves have come out to play (I used a bunch of Nilbogs from Volo's Guide). The king's son is with them and scared shitless. The PC's take on the Nilbogs and even though they're super annoying and the PC's don't have their full assortment of gear, they have some equipment in their bag of holding (four daggers) they distribute and the warlock and bard can cast a few spells without Material components.

    Just as they're starting to finish off the "elves", they hear the menacing laughter again... from a backroom where the king's son had been hiding. They enter and I describe a bloody version of Santa. Human skin leather jerkin, with dried blood on it, big hairy, dirty beard, skulls hanging off his belt, size Large, and a sack over his shoulder with a writhing body inside it. I used the Devourer from Volo's Guide. It has a soul sucking ability, and an Imprisonment ability. I made it's big damage recharge ability the souls of children that it had slaughtered for being naughty, and kept saying to the players, "You've been very naughty and must be punished!"

    After three large energy drinks (think two cans of red bull in one can and I had three cans, so six red bulls), an almost TPK because of having half their magic items and no magical weapons and half their spells, and stabbing "Santa" in the butt for huge damage, they won the day and saved the king's son from having his soul sucked into the Abyss.

    And that is how the players killed Krampus.
    Last edited by Kzach; December 21st, 2016 at 01:15 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ranger Wickett View Post
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    I'm mostly with Spoony.

  • #5753
    Quote Originally Posted by Kzach View Post
    So I wake up, groggy as usual but a type of weary that I know will mean napping during the day. 10am, one of my D&D groups gets a post on our private FB page, "Are we playing tonight?"

    Shit. I thought we weren't. I thought we'd discussed this a fortnight ago and we weren't playing!

    Oh well, turns out everyone wants to play. I have nothing prepared, no fucking clue what I'm going to do. I think, "Hey, I'm usually pretty good at impromptu, I can do this."

    The PC's had just gotten to Candlekeep last session on the trail of a murderer. Long story short, they closed a portal to Limbo which was bleeding out into the Material Plane and causing random havoc and timey-wimey shit. Closing the portal reset everything and now they're in an alternate timeline. They were meant to go through the damn portal but closed it instead.

    Anyway, that was last session. Now they're in Candlekeep, the plot they were supposed to follow unavailable, and I've gotta come up with something on the spot.

    Months and many sessions ago, they met a crazy person. They met them again a couple of times, wandering around the village. I'd laid some clues that he might be the king's son, and that some sort of weirdness has gone down where the king doesn't even think he has a son. This was just some random shit I like to throw in every so often to see if the players will latch onto it, make up something, and I can turn it into something. They didn't. Oh well.

    But now I figure I'll have this guy, non-crazy, at Candlekeep, trying to figure out what was happening to him and why. He's hearing bells and sometimes menacing laughter. The players are all like, "OK, timey-wimey shit, this really is the king's son, he's not crazy yet, let's save him!"

    So after a bunch of roleplaying and walking around with pants off and almost getting arrested by grumpy old librarian who kept saying, "Our rules are very strict!" (points if you recall where that's from), and took away their weapons and spell casting focuses as a condition of being in the library ('cause when they first entered, all the weird Limbo shit was happening and there weren't any guards, and now it's back to normal, they got caught roaming the halls with weapons and with their pants off).

    The king's son has been marked with an arcane beacon that is attracting a fiendish spirit that will consume his soul. The players actually manage to figure this out. Things start getting worse around the son, the PC's start hearing the bells (I used a bunch of d6's in my cupped hands to a slow tempo beat of the well known bells from Santa's sleigh every so often), and then they start hearing the menacing laughter (I did a growly and sinister version of "ho, ho, ho").

    And as the sun sets, sinister elfin laughter is heard and shadows of small creatures appear in the candlelight of Candlekeep's Esoteric Studies Department. Screams are heard. First it's a mutilated rabbit corpse. Then it's someone being doused with blood, and then it's someone slipping in entrails. The elves have come out to play (I used a bunch of Nilbogs from Volo's Guide). The king's son is with them and scared shitless. The PC's take on the Nilbogs and even though they're super annoying and the PC's don't have their full assortment of gear, they have some equipment in their bag of holding (four daggers) they distribute and the warlock and bard can cast a few spells without Material components.

    Just as they're starting to finish off the "elves", they hear the menacing laughter again... from a backroom where the king's son had been hiding. They enter and I describe a bloody version of Santa. Human skin leather jerkin, with dried blood on it, big hairy, dirty beard, skulls hanging off his belt, size Large, and a sack over his shoulder with a writhing body inside it. I used the Devourer from Volo's Guide. It has a soul sucking ability, and an Imprisonment ability. I made it's big damage recharge ability the souls of children that it had slaughtered for being naughty, and kept saying to the players, "You've been very naughty and must be punished!"

    After three large energy drinks (think two cans of red bull in one can and I had three cans, so six red bulls), an almost TPK because of having half their magic items and no magical weapons and half their spells, and stabbing "Santa" in the butt for huge damage, they won the day and saved the king's son from having his soul sucked into the Abyss.

    And that is how the players killed Krampus.
    Ah, so it was a Christmas Special adventure?

    Not bad ...

  • #5754
    PC's may be heading deep into Unseelie/Shadow Fey territory in the next session or two. The gate they'll be using enters into an Unseelie castle via the wine cellar, giving them lots of opportunities to steal potentially dangerous Faerie Wine. It's stuff they would probably guess is valuable (and they'd be right) and that they might recognize as highly dangerous (and they'd be right).

    I think I'll make the effects the following: if you drink any of the wine, you must make a Con save to avoid getting drunk (or at least that's what I'd tell them the save is for). If they fail, they'll black out and be temporarily possessed by a Fey spirit, which might do any number of things while in control - up to and including potentially spying for the Unseelie Lord who's stash they raided. Maybe different specific vintages are connected to specific spirits.

    I think I'll give them the opportunity to make off with a bottle of Unseelie Absinthe, too. Fee verte, indeed. That might have a more extreme version of the same effect.

    I can actually see the PC's figuring out a way to turn this around and make use of it; imagine them intentionally getting one of themselves drunk on the wine so that they could attempt to interrogate the Fey spirit...
    We've always been at war with Eastasia.
    If other people's pain didn't amuse me, I wouldn't be a GM. -barsoomcore

  • #5755
    Redwick, re-imagined RedWick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kid Charlemagne View Post
    PC's may be heading deep into Unseelie/Shadow Fey territory in the next session or two. The gate they'll be using enters into an Unseelie castle via the wine cellar, giving them lots of opportunities to steal potentially dangerous Faerie Wine. It's stuff they would probably guess is valuable (and they'd be right) and that they might recognize as highly dangerous (and they'd be right).

    I think I'll make the effects the following: if you drink any of the wine, you must make a Con save to avoid getting drunk (or at least that's what I'd tell them the save is for). If they fail, they'll black out and be temporarily possessed by a Fey spirit, which might do any number of things while in control - up to and including potentially spying for the Unseelie Lord who's stash they raided. Maybe different specific vintages are connected to specific spirits.

    I think I'll give them the opportunity to make off with a bottle of Unseelie Absinthe, too. Fee verte, indeed. That might have a more extreme version of the same effect.

    I can actually see the PC's figuring out a way to turn this around and make use of it; imagine them intentionally getting one of themselves drunk on the wine so that they could attempt to interrogate the Fey spirit...
    For each person who drinks the wine and doesn't make the save, have a note ready to be passed out. Make them choose randomly. Only one of them gets possessed. Should ramp up the paranoia a touch.
    Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast. - Douglas Adams

  • #5756
    While they are possessed, get up, stand behind them, and whisper in their ear.

    SUPER CREEPY.

    Full credit, I learned this technique from Piratecat.
    Still excited about 4th Edition!
    -----
    * 'You'd need to start with a party of 20 or 30, so that each of the grisly traps could fail to be avoided.' -- Calamari Face, discussing a D&D movie set in the Tomb of Horrors

  • #5757
    Quote Originally Posted by RedWick View Post
    For each person who drinks the wine and doesn't make the save, have a note ready to be passed out. Make them choose randomly. Only one of them gets possessed. Should ramp up the paranoia a touch.
    Ha! Only one spirit per bottle. Unseelie Tequila: Really, really don't eat the worm.
    We've always been at war with Eastasia.
    If other people's pain didn't amuse me, I wouldn't be a GM. -barsoomcore

  • #5758
    Redwick, re-imagined RedWick's Avatar
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    I'm a big fan of passing notes out. People get so worked up over them.
    Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast. - Douglas Adams

  • #5759
    56% of an excuse nail bunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedWick View Post
    I'm a big fan of passing notes out. People get so worked up over them.
    Specially if after they are read, you have them turned back in and no one else ever gets to see them.
    I wouldn't even censor you.

  • #5760
    So, yeah. Ran Nights Black Agents tonight. It had many near-death experiences.

    (Spoilers for The Zalozhniy Quartet)

    Cast of characters
    Chakroun - Queen of Thieves (PC-ized NPC)
    Morgan - La Femme Nikita type assassin
    Bernard - Brit ex-SAS, preparedness monkey
    Ali - Turkish asset handler
    Chase - American investigator, Clone of Russ Cole (true detective)
    Henley - Accountant and explosives fanatic who uses drones.

    First, players are after the Nigredo (macguffin thing that makes vampires more powerful). They find out that it was on a feral vampire that the Bedouin buried in a well in the desert. While the group is debating, two players are like "let's get this over with". Henley sends a drone down, while Chase goes down himself, tied off to the winch of a Humvee. I thought for sure he was vampire food. But he has the best filch. So the drone spots the vamp. It charges Chase. Chase grabs the drone, uses it as a shield, filches the Nigredo, and yells to the agent driving above to GO! Morgan is driving the Humvee but is not a great driver, so when she roll a 1, she fails. The cable pulls him back, but he gets caught on the edge of the well while being mauled. Chakroun agent uses her amazing agility to jump in the throat of the well and re-position the cable. Chase comes flying up, barely alive, but with Nigredo in hand.

    The rest of the agents use demolitions to seal up the well.

    Then they head back to civilization. They have two macguffins which are pieces of a weapon that super-powers a vampire and turns the ruling house of Saudi Arabia into their vampiric thralls. So the vampire conspiracy wants it bad. They send their Russian-mobsters-turned mercs at them, and trap them in the desert with a column of 4x4s and two helicopter gunships. "Hand over the Rubedo" (collective name for the macguffins) "of you die".

    The agents give them fakes (one previously prepared, one new fake via use of the preparedness skill). One fake is a bomb. Mercs go to the choppers and give it to the (unbeknownst to them) undead ex-British agent who knows better. Word gets passed, force the REAL Rubedo out of the players. Shoot them one at a time until they give it up.

    Upon overhearing this, the players decide to set off the fake macguffin bomb. 1 Huey is disabled (but undead Brit still fine). Mercs attak, but roll poorly, so only one more agent is seriously injured.

    I let them know the situation looks grim; if they don't give up the items, they may die.

    Screw that, says the players.

    Okay, bad guys coming on like gangbusters. Bernard uses his preparedness to say they had a group of Bedouin fighters ready to back them up. Okay says I. Not wanting to complicate the battle overmuch, I arbitrarily decide half the soldiers jump in 4x4s and peel off to take on the Bedouin. Fight is more manageable. The remaining agents slowly whittle away the soldiers, but the other gunship takes to the air and blows up their Humvee.

    Morgan decides she's pissed at this whole affair and wastes her once-a-session MOS (auto-success) to kill off enemy Colonel. Fine.

    Then Bernard peels an RPG off the corpse of a merc and takes down the second chopper.

    After this, the players take out the last two soldiers in the disabled chopper. They approach it, and discover the undead agent inside. He was an enemy agent of EDOM who the PCs interrogated earlier (Mr. Red/Elvis) and dumped in the desert, but the conspiracy found him and turned him into a Zalozhniy (Russian corpse denied its death). After the undead spy gives monologue about how they should just give the Rubedo to the conspiracy, Ali uses diagnosis to figure out how he died (they are very tough to kill except via the death they were denied) and Chakroun sneaks up and uses jiu-jitsu to snap his neck.

    So, nobody dies, but now they are in the middle of the Saudi Arabian desert in 120 degree heat.

    Chakroun decides to make a Bedouin prince they met earlier into a contact that actually has a thing for her. They use the radio on the disabled chopper to arrange a rescue. Help is on the way. In 8 hours.

    Night falls. The moon is high. Henley had his blood taken by the conspiracy in an earlier adventure and they knew how to track him via blood magic. A master vampire appeared to him by the moonlight, and used mind control to make him simply fly the drone away that had the Rubedo hidden in it.


    Next session, they agents must take the fight to the vampires.

    Some days, I love this game. This was about as much fun as I have had in an NBA session with all the "but then this happens" events.
    Last edited by Caesar Slaad; December 23rd, 2016 at 06:43 AM.
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