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Thread: Random Humor Redux (To replace the old random humor thread) :blush:

  1. #196
    Quote Originally Posted by Advocatus Diaboli View Post
    "Perhaps if I vomit into its mouth it will be quiet?"
    As good a plan as any.

    Dark the stars and dark the moon
    Hush the night and the morning loon
    Tell the horses and beat on your drum
    Gone their master, gone their son.

    Dark the oceans, dark the sky
    Hush the whales and the ocean tide
    Tell the salt marsh and beat on your drum
    Gone their master, gone their son.


 

  • #197
    56% of an excuse nail bunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Palaralae View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Advocatus Diaboli View Post
    "Perhaps if I vomit into its mouth it will be quiet?"
    As good a plan as any.
    Totally works with all children, everywhere. Top recommended choice of action!
    I can delete you, one click and you're overwritten.

  • #198
    Quote Originally Posted by nail bunny View Post
    Totally works with all children, everywhere. Top recommended choice of action!
    That's kind of what I had deduced; I mean, the children vomit on the parents, so the parents return the favor, right? Seems like it ought to go both ways. Watch me logic.

    Dark the stars and dark the moon
    Hush the night and the morning loon
    Tell the horses and beat on your drum
    Gone their master, gone their son.

    Dark the oceans, dark the sky
    Hush the whales and the ocean tide
    Tell the salt marsh and beat on your drum
    Gone their master, gone their son.


  • #199
    56% of an excuse nail bunny's Avatar
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    I've never shared Flork of Cows comics here? I'd feel ashamed if I cared for you people at all...








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  • #200
    Pony Up! Ovinomancer's Avatar
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    Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?
    Spoiler:
    He kept hearing he should, "get along, little doggie!"


    At the Bear Corporation:

    Grizzly (the Boss!): Brown bear! Grab your bags, I'm sending you to Australia.

    Brown: But, sir, I can't go to Australia!

    Grizzly (growling): What the hell? You better have a good reason!

    Spoiler:
    Brown: I'm not koala-fied!



    Why, yes, my coworkers have hung a "Danger Frequent Dad Jokes" sign on my desk, why do you ask? (This is actually true.)
    Quote Originally Posted by PWD View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member.
    I think ovi's right.

  • #201
    Wasn't quite sure where else to stick this, but I'm chuckling, so...

    Florida Man Killed By Large, Flightless, Pet Bird.

    Jayzus. Florida Man done went and scaled a new pinnacle of stupidity. Who in their right mind and possessed of even half a brain cell thinks it's a good idea to own a fucking cassowary?!?! This is a creature who looks at you and thinks "Why, yes. I am, in fact, the closest living thing to a goddamn velociraptor. And you, hairless, defenseless, pink monkey....look tasty."

    My new name for the cassowary is Murder Turkey.
    Last edited by Palaralae; April 14th, 2019 at 05:33 AM.

    Dark the stars and dark the moon
    Hush the night and the morning loon
    Tell the horses and beat on your drum
    Gone their master, gone their son.

    Dark the oceans, dark the sky
    Hush the whales and the ocean tide
    Tell the salt marsh and beat on your drum
    Gone their master, gone their son.


  • #202
    56% of an excuse nail bunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Palaralae View Post
    Wasn't quite sure where else to stick this, but I'm chuckling, so...

    Florida Man Killed By Large, Flightless, Pet Bird.
    Florida man strikes again!

    This was in Alachua*, no where near me, so it couldn't have been the terror birds in the neighborhood next door.


    * Up near Gainesville, in the northern part of the dongle...


    My new name for the cassowary is Murder Turkey.
    I can delete you, one click and you're overwritten.

  • #203
    Quote Originally Posted by Palaralae View Post
    Who in their right mind and possessed of even half a brain cell thinks it's a good idea to own a fucking cassowary?!?!
    orang bodok
    Fiat justitia ruat coelum.

  • #204
    Quote Originally Posted by nail bunny View Post


    I have no idea if the blue on their heads changes color with their mood like it does with a tom, but it struck me as similar. And toms can get absolutely out of their heads crazy-territorial/mean, even when it isn't breeding season.

    I ended up raising 3 poults a few years back, and they were only nice because they bonded to me right away; when the two grew up, they would threat-display and occasionally charge anyone else. Me, they would just court-display at.

    Dark the stars and dark the moon
    Hush the night and the morning loon
    Tell the horses and beat on your drum
    Gone their master, gone their son.

    Dark the oceans, dark the sky
    Hush the whales and the ocean tide
    Tell the salt marsh and beat on your drum
    Gone their master, gone their son.


  • #205
    56% of an excuse nail bunny's Avatar
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  • #206



    Dark the stars and dark the moon
    Hush the night and the morning loon
    Tell the horses and beat on your drum
    Gone their master, gone their son.

    Dark the oceans, dark the sky
    Hush the whales and the ocean tide
    Tell the salt marsh and beat on your drum
    Gone their master, gone their son.


  • #207

    Dark the stars and dark the moon
    Hush the night and the morning loon
    Tell the horses and beat on your drum
    Gone their master, gone their son.

    Dark the oceans, dark the sky
    Hush the whales and the ocean tide
    Tell the salt marsh and beat on your drum
    Gone their master, gone their son.


  • #208
    can't be bothered Eldorian's Avatar
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  • #209
    56% of an excuse nail bunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eldorian View Post
    Mmm... that Arbys roast beef sammich... filled with 100% tube beef.



    (Can I get some coverage on Eldorian, I can never give it too him enuff)
    I can delete you, one click and you're overwritten.

  • #210
    guyjin's Avatar
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