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Thread: Shit Hippies Are Good At

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    a figment of your imagination COMMUNITY SUPPORTER Palaralae's Avatar
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    Shit Hippies Are Good At

    So, I've Facebook-friended some friends of friends, who seem to be the typical hippie-drifter types, mainly to keep an eye on them, as well as trying to figure out how people live like that and what makes them tick. I find myself repeatedly shaking my head and drawing the conclusion that these sorts of folks are really a lot like Hippie Chick was, so many shared threads making up the fabric of who they are. And not in a good way. Holy shit.

    And I've had an ongoing list of Shit Hippies Are Good At that springs to mind. To start:

    1. drama
    2. evading personal responsibility
    3. squirting out kids willy-nilly
    4. cadging handouts of just about everything
    5. weed
    6. hopelessly-deluded visions of grandeur about things/skills they can do
    7. grossly overestimating what they think they know about various subjects (see #6)
    8. assuming a high degree of welcome with others
    9. a sort of vaguely-communist lifestyle that ought to work out always in their favor (see #2, #1, #6)


    For general amusement (and Rusty's likely yuks, specifically) I present the below conversation. A little bit of background first; this...female...just recently hooked up with a guy we both know. Already pregnant by him, has at least 2 or 3 other small children running about, and what sounds like one adult (18 year old) child. They recently moved onto this "awesome deal" of a place, some guy in North Idaho who had a lot of forested land and a farm, which they were supposed to help work for partial pay, and partial board. Apparently that went sour, he purportedly didn't pay them, and a while back she posted video of this guy coming to the door of the little hovel/cabin they were staying in, asking them to leave his land. He mentioned that her kids weren't living in the best conditions and that he was concerned about them and wondering about whether to call CPS, to which she responded with histrionics (see #1) and vague demands that this guy should give them an RV and approximately $2000 for the 25 hours worth of work they had purportedly done for him. It was all very strange. When they had first gotten to this "awesome deal" place, she somehow got a very young buckling (which she calls a billy; this immediately qualifies her as "clueless moron" in my book) who was purportedly "purebred Nubian" and that she had plans to raise him and stud him out. I was both a bit amused and dismayed at this, because in my experience of raising goats for about the past 8 years, no goat owner worth their salt is going to want some unknown buck who's been around and/or breeding with unknown does (goats have both STDs and other highly-communicable diseases) to cover their does. Most people I know of run "closed" herds, or very nearly so, only buying from other people they know and trust. So, this seems like very much a pipe dream, and I'm curious to see how she thinks she's going to contain a hand-raised buck (which can get dangerous as they get older) when she doesn't have a place to live other than an RV. So, first I ask her if the goat is coming with, and subsequent questions are basically to see what the fuck, if anything, she actually knows about goats.
    JS convo1.jpgJS convo2.jpg


    Note that this silly bint KNOWS NOTHING about the buckling's history and birth. It's important to know if the dam & sire were twins, trips, quads, etc. because that shit is genetic. If he was a singleton, his offspring may be likely to throw singletons instead of multiple births, which is not desirable. It's admittedly more important in the dam, but not uninimportant in the sire. All she knows is that the lady "in the station wagon" she apparently got this kid from had two more with her.



    JS convo3.jpg
    I had a little bit of an ohshit moment here; I've talked to her before since she made noises about wanting beads, and talked about some of the stuff I do on my farm. I suggested we "meet up sometime" to talk about what she wanted for beads, but I sure as shit don't recall inviting her out to my place (see #8). No, thank you. I don't want any more hippies coming out to my place, or even knowing where I live, really.

    She also seems to think I would let her near my flock with a pair of fucking shears. When she doesn't know that there's no such thing as "angora sheep", but angora goats (which is where mohair comes from), and when she's purportedly only "helped" shear one summer, and gods only know what all that entailed. Also, it's already fucking May. I had our shearing done (Super late! Mainly because it's been so freakin' rainy) just the other day.
    JS convo4.jpg


    No. Not sorta silly, absolutely dipshit is what you acted like.
    Last edited by Palaralae; May 7th, 2017 at 05:40 PM.
    Spring spirit-dancer, nimble and thin
    I will leap like Coyote when I go
    Tireless entrancer, lend me your skin
    I will run like the gray wolf when I go

    I will climb the rise at daybreak, I will kiss the sky at noon
    Raise my yearning voice at midnight to my mother in the moon
    I will make the lay of long defeat and draw the chorus slow
    I'll send this message down the wire
    Hope that someone wise is listening
    When I go

 

  • #2
    a figment of your imagination COMMUNITY SUPPORTER Palaralae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Farside View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member.
    10. Bizarre conspiracy theories combining the New World Order, Erich Von Daniken, Willy Nelson, and global warming.


    Troof. Could probably add 11. Bizarre metaphysical/spiritual beliefs. I had one hippie type tell me recently that each forest fire has its own individual 'spirit' and personality, and it was implied that it could be reasoned with or propitiated....

    Oooh, and how could I have forgotten? How about.... 12. Cultural appropriation. The number of hippies who I see get into the "namaste" thing (and not even using it properly) and vaguely Native American stuff without actually being accepted by Native Americans is so staggeringly high, I don't think I can even count that far.
    Last edited by Palaralae; May 7th, 2017 at 05:47 PM.
    Spring spirit-dancer, nimble and thin
    I will leap like Coyote when I go
    Tireless entrancer, lend me your skin
    I will run like the gray wolf when I go

    I will climb the rise at daybreak, I will kiss the sky at noon
    Raise my yearning voice at midnight to my mother in the moon
    I will make the lay of long defeat and draw the chorus slow
    I'll send this message down the wire
    Hope that someone wise is listening
    When I go

  • #3
    a figment of your imagination COMMUNITY SUPPORTER Palaralae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Farside View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member.
    13. Weird Yard "art".
    fify
    Spring spirit-dancer, nimble and thin
    I will leap like Coyote when I go
    Tireless entrancer, lend me your skin
    I will run like the gray wolf when I go

    I will climb the rise at daybreak, I will kiss the sky at noon
    Raise my yearning voice at midnight to my mother in the moon
    I will make the lay of long defeat and draw the chorus slow
    I'll send this message down the wire
    Hope that someone wise is listening
    When I go

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    got a giant beard jdrakeh's Avatar
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    14. Baking. Of both breads, cookies, and brains.
    If you're going to be an asshole, commit. Don't piss on me and tell me that it's raining.

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    Westworld Magnificent COMMUNITY SUPPORTER diaglo's Avatar
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    15. writing and singing folk songs about being shit on by the man
    FWIW, I'm on the design team and I pretty much find WoW as fun and interesting as banging my head against a brick wall.-- Mike Mearls

    I mean, I never GET any but that would be preferable. --Rel

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    Haulin ass shiningbrow's Avatar
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    16. Assuming Western science and medicine are suspect but that Asian herbal cures are fine.

    I had a friend who used some Chinese herbal birth control (She-Link) rather than rely on Big Pharma. The result? Unplanned pregnancies.

    10. Redux. Same hippie friend. A devoté of this guy. Had obsessions with the idea that Henry Kissinger was dead, had been killed and his appearances on tv were simply mashups of old videos. Obsessions with Armageddon, TriLateral Commission, Rockefellers, Chase Manhattan Bank, etc. Here's a real peach that said hippie used to subscribe to, since deceased, but weird as shit, and the origin of many of these crackpot ideas. http://www.peterdavidbeter.com/

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Beter

    Here's a selection for those of you too lazy to click on links:

    Beter released a series of 80 audio newsletter tapes between 1975 and 1982. [14] Beter was known for his claims without evidence against political leaders, some of which included allegations of conspiracy in the highest political positions; Beter claimed that:


    • Particle beam weapons and other advanced aerial weapons under secret development had the power to change the weather. Both the U.S. and the Soviet Union had developed such weapons.[25]
    Last edited by shiningbrow; May 9th, 2017 at 12:45 AM.
    "When the subway jerks, it's the fixed stars that throw you down."

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    Haulin ass shiningbrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jdrakeh View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member.
    14. Baking. Of both breads, cookies, and brains.

    Hell.That
    sounds like Julia Child.
    "When the subway jerks, it's the fixed stars that throw you down."

  • #8
    I will be warm! COMMUNITY SUPPORTER guyjin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Palaralae View Post
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    6. hopelessly-deluded visions of grandeur about things/skills they can do
    7. grossly overestimating what they think they know about various subjects (see #6)
    the dunning-kruger effect isn't just for hippies, you know.

  • #9
    a figment of your imagination COMMUNITY SUPPORTER Palaralae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by guyjin View Post
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    the dunning-kruger effect isn't just for hippies, you know.

    Oh, of course not. But I find that they are *real* good at it.

    There's a parody song by a satire/humor artist named Rucka Rucka Ali about hippies, which is amusing. NSFW-language.

    Last edited by Palaralae; May 9th, 2017 at 01:27 AM.
    Spring spirit-dancer, nimble and thin
    I will leap like Coyote when I go
    Tireless entrancer, lend me your skin
    I will run like the gray wolf when I go

    I will climb the rise at daybreak, I will kiss the sky at noon
    Raise my yearning voice at midnight to my mother in the moon
    I will make the lay of long defeat and draw the chorus slow
    I'll send this message down the wire
    Hope that someone wise is listening
    When I go

  • #10
    got a giant beard jdrakeh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shiningbrow View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member.
    Hell.That
    sounds like Julia Child.
    I don't think Julia Child did the marijuana but otherwise, yes. The best breads and cookies I've ever had were cooked by hippies. They were sometimes laced with cannabis butter, but not always. They were always delicious, though.
    If you're going to be an asshole, commit. Don't piss on me and tell me that it's raining.

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    a figment of your imagination COMMUNITY SUPPORTER Palaralae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jdrakeh View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member.
    I don't think Julia Child did the marijuana but otherwise, yes. The best breads and cookies I've ever had were cooked by hippies. They were sometimes laced with cannabis butter, but not always. They were always delicious, though.
    Yeah, at barter faires there are often baked goods available (both with ganja & without), and they're usually fairly decent. Unless you get some vegan nutter who takes the evil even further and only does carob instead of chocolate.

    Quote Originally Posted by Farside View Post
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    17. Patchouli oil.
    Oh gods. How could we have forgotten this one until now?!?

    18. ratty-looking white-folk dreadlocks, as you mentioned. Ugh. So nasty.
    Spring spirit-dancer, nimble and thin
    I will leap like Coyote when I go
    Tireless entrancer, lend me your skin
    I will run like the gray wolf when I go

    I will climb the rise at daybreak, I will kiss the sky at noon
    Raise my yearning voice at midnight to my mother in the moon
    I will make the lay of long defeat and draw the chorus slow
    I'll send this message down the wire
    Hope that someone wise is listening
    When I go

  • #12
    Girls Gone Spoony! Spoony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Palaralae View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member.
    Oh, of course not. But I find that they are *real* good at it.

    There's a parody song by a satire/humor artist named Rucka Rucka Ali about hippies, which is amusing.
    If you say so. This is much better.


  • #13
    a figment of your imagination COMMUNITY SUPPORTER Palaralae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spoony View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member.
    If you say so. This is much better.




    Agreed!!
    Spring spirit-dancer, nimble and thin
    I will leap like Coyote when I go
    Tireless entrancer, lend me your skin
    I will run like the gray wolf when I go

    I will climb the rise at daybreak, I will kiss the sky at noon
    Raise my yearning voice at midnight to my mother in the moon
    I will make the lay of long defeat and draw the chorus slow
    I'll send this message down the wire
    Hope that someone wise is listening
    When I go

  • #14
    a figment of your imagination COMMUNITY SUPPORTER Palaralae's Avatar
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    19. Writing posts in non-parseable English.

    HippieChick (the sequel) posts the meme about a boatload of Jews trying to escape the Holocaust and being turned away by a handful of countries, including the US. A friend of hers posts an educational, non-confrontational and factual rebuttal of, "Just a side note in history dear. FDR was a democrat and the reason many Jews were not allowed into the various countries. Was actually because many were paid german spies at the time. (We had a problem at the time of industrial sabotage agianst the war effort)It wasn't just the children not allowed in but, entire families.The one incident in question: (was an entire ship that was turned away by multiplue countries) . This happened immediately following a "refugee"German Jew being caught attemping to sadotage an industrial complex.At the time we were going to war. And had little in the way of determining friend or foe. Taking your enemies refugees has never been a good idea. No way to tell who's who. The other problem is loyalty to the new country. This is not to detract from your post. It's merely a matter of historical significance."

    To which she responds.... "Remember your own grandmother got her straight out a concentration!"

    Wut?

    Is this gonna lead to a whole new slew of memes, like "Straight outta Auschwitz"? That would be in poor taste....though that's never stopped anyone before.
    Spring spirit-dancer, nimble and thin
    I will leap like Coyote when I go
    Tireless entrancer, lend me your skin
    I will run like the gray wolf when I go

    I will climb the rise at daybreak, I will kiss the sky at noon
    Raise my yearning voice at midnight to my mother in the moon
    I will make the lay of long defeat and draw the chorus slow
    I'll send this message down the wire
    Hope that someone wise is listening
    When I go

  • #15
    56% of an excuse nail bunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Palaralae View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member.
    Is this gonna lead to a whole new slew of memes, like "Straight outta Auschwitz"? That would be in poor taste....though that's never stopped anyone before.
    Pepperidge Farms remembers...





    Hop on in, this rabbit hole is deep.

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